Mom, I wish I had just one more chance to say goodbye. But I’ve come to realize that goodbyes are the hardest thing to say, especially when I’m not just losing my mom, but my absolute best friend. If I could turn back time, I wish I would have spent more moments with you. But the time we did share. I will hold onto that forever. I’ll always remember the laughs, the jokes, our deep talks, and yes, even our arguments. I’m going to miss everything that made you, your stern lectures, the bright smile on your face, and the comfort of your good food. You left a space that no one else can fill. More than anything in this world, Mom, I am just really going to miss you 

Hey Mom,

You'd probably agree with most people and say that I'm great with words; but to be honest, in moments like this I find myself struggling to sum up 43 and a half years of life in a brief excerpt and expect it to cover everything about you, everything between mother and son, and have it feel adequate. You were someone who gave everything, when you had little.

They say when someone has nothing they have to go deeper into themselves to give more, and I think with everything you gave you definitely put a little bit of you in everything you did, everything you could give, and then more. You wanted to see everyone around you thrive and happy, growing and experiencing a life they could appreciate. I think that's why you smiled so big…

That's the person my mother was, and who she would want her children to be and the world to be. Following God's words, and knowing when the sun sets you made the effort in making the world better, and leaving it better from your memory.

I take pride in saying I was a momma's boy, because Penney is my mother. She was a great mother, and no matter how much I tried she always saw me not as a grown man, but as one of her babies. I didn't realize it immediately, instead, as I look back at all the effort, the texts, the messages, gifts, I can see she still saw me as that 13 year old boy who

played video games, watched Saturday morning cartoons, and ate snack food on the living room floor.

I have been going through an inventory of life in the last week and I'm realizing where I get a lot of my habits and traits from. She used to say I act, talk, and look like our dad, but I started to realize a lot of my traits also came from her, and I love that. She may have seen it looking at a mirror of her own habits and I know she wasn't a fan of that, but I wear them with honor as I acknowledge the good ones, and do my best to correct the stubbornness both she and our father gifted me. I'm still working on the stubbornness.

Parents know their kids grow up, and as they do they want to experience the world with them along the way. Sometimes they never want their kids to grow up, or at least that they wish the world would slow down just enough to take it all in before what's in front of them becomes faded memories that the kids can recall better than the parent.

Again, to my mom:

These days I wish the world would slow down. I wish there was more time. More time I could see you again, and I could still get those pictures from cruises, or of Lucy, or how you've set up the living room after cleaning it, and I could send you pictures of the cats and Cool Cat Mamus. I wish I could text you during the day or call you to say good night, and as always end that call with an “I'll see you later,” because I know… I'll always see you later.

I love you, mom.

To My Mother,

To say “I love you” to someone or something is more common than saying hello. We love food, TV shows, sports teams, even songs. Most importantly, we love people — our friends, celebrities, and of course our family. Family is an inherited love. It usually isn’t something you have to learn or be taught to put first. It’s what we are born into, something we are inherently bound to know and understand. This is especially true with our parents.

I think other kinds of love are choices. They may come naturally, they may grow with time, and sometimes they fade. Being loved by choice is something most people can’t fully comprehend, because with family, love doesn’t seem optional.

Colossians 3:12–14 says: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience… And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

I’ve been lucky in life to have had the love of more than one mom — and you can thank my father for that. What could be mistaken for a DMX song: there’s Angela, then Terry, who we lost in 2021, and then Penney. Before there was Penney, there was my birth mother, who to me is a stranger, but who still made a choice to give me life. A choice not simple, but one I choose to believe was made from the heart.

Then there was Penney Yvonne Hutchinson, a mother and wife of two children who made the choice to adopt me. A choice to love me. A choice to be my mother. She made many choices throughout her lifetime, but I believe she always chose love first.

She chose to love a sweet treat. She chose the Titans. She chose Chuck Taylors over heels any day.She chose Newports, instant coffee, singing competitions, Snoopy everything, mayonnaise, and a ponytail or bun against the world. I think she may have invented baby hairs and the slick-back ponytail.

So many choices — maybe some a little questionable — but they were yours, and I loved you for all of them.

I have a million stories I could tell, including your choice to never really teach anyone to cook. But I watched you like a hawk and took in all the unsaid lessons, and I can proudly say my lasagna is just as good as yours ever was. Or how I inherited your need for a skip day to grab lunch or make a quick trip to the mall with my daughter, just like you used to do with me.

You chose to love your family and give to us even in your own times of need. You always chose love first.

As hard as it is to understand this reality, I’m realizing now that you had to make yet another choice — and you chose eternal life over a worldly one. A choice to be pain-free. A choice to smile again. A choice to be free.

Thank you for all your choices, Mommy. Thank you for choosing to love me. I hope you know how much I loved you too. And know that I will always choose you — in this lifetime and the next, forever and always.

This separation is so difficult, and words cannot fully express the sorrow in my heart. Though this farewell is painful, I thank God for every moment we shared—your laughter, your loving heart, and the treasured bond we had as sisters. Yet even in this grief, I am thankful for the precious love we shared and for the countless memories God graciously gave us. That love is a gift that will remain with me always.

You lived with strength, kindness, generosity, and unwavering faith, always caring for others before yourself. The love you shared reflected God’s goodness and left a lasting blessing on everyone who knew you.

In moments of sadness, I can almost hear your gentle voice asking, “Why are you crying?” and reminding me to place my trust in the Lord. Vivian shared that you told her to have faith. Your faith remains a source of comfort, encouraging me to hold on to hope and God’s promises.

Until we meet again in God’s presence, I will carry you in my heart each day. I love you, Penny, and I will miss you deeply, while trusting in the hope and peace that faith brings. --Your sister Ingrid.

My sister Penney was more than just my sister—she was like a second mother to me and helped raise me for much of my life. Her love, guidance, and support helped shape the person I am today.

Losing her leaves a void that can never be filled. I will deeply miss her presence, her wisdom, and the unconditional love she always showed me. Although she is no longer here with us, I find comfort in knowing that she is reunited with our mother and is watching over our family from above.

Rest in peace, Penney. I love you, and I will carry your memory in my heart forever. 

My Big Sister, Penney

Penney was more than my sister—she was my big sister, my confidante, and one of my greatest blessings. She knew me from the day I was born and loved me through every season of my life. There was never a time when she was not there to listen, encourage, and support me.

Penney was a giving and selfless person who always wanted the best for others. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders, constantly reminding me of my strengths and encouraging me to pursue my goals and dreams. I could share my thoughts, concerns, joys, and challenges with her, knowing she would listen with love and understanding.

Although my heart is broken by her passing, I am grateful for the countless memories we shared, the laughter, the conversations, and the unconditional love she gave so freely. There is so much more I could say about the incredible woman she was, but words cannot fully capture what she meant to me.

I will miss hearing her voice, receiving her encouragement, and simply knowing she was there. Yet I find comfort in God's promise and in knowing that her love will remain in my heart forever. I love you, Penney, and I thank God for allowing me to be your little sister. 

One day, as I walked into the ICU to visit you, I told you that we had to stop seeing each other like this. Just hours before our Heavenly Father called you home, you looked at me and said, "You have to keep the faith. I'm tired."

Those words will remain in my heart forever. I miss you more than words can express, and I always will. You were not only my sister but also one of my greatest encouragers, always reminding me to trust God and keep moving forward.

Today, I hold on to the faith you spoke of and to God's promise of eternal life. I find comfort in knowing that you are now at peace, free from pain, and resting in the presence of the Lord. Until we meet again, I will continue to walk by faith, trusting in God's perfect plan.

I love you, Penney, and I always will.

With love,